Take a look Inside: The life of a artist is a sad & lonely 1 , It’s a Gift and a curse

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People have this false romantic narrative about artistic people. Life as a creative isn’t fun. Its very grueling and lonely. People think that artist are upbeat fun loving people for some reason, I blame the media…only to get their feelings hurt once they meet one and discover they’re a miserable prick. NO were not unicorns.

Creators, atleast the real ones…aren’t happy people because how can you be? this shit isn’t a “realistic” or “logical” career field. To have the mindset and belief to pursue a career like this you have to be fucked in the head because from a rational POV it makes absolutely no sense on any level. But it’s the passion inside of us that drive us. Because if you get in the game just for money you’re a fucking idiot. You’re going to tap out eventually.

Most creative field’s are based upon luck, self belief and sometimes dealing with unscrupulous people to gain entry. It takes alot to have the patience and discipline to create shit that might not even result in any kind of profit. Imagine working hours on a project that might not even ever be seen. Imagine putting all your energy into something that have a 1 of out 10,000 chance of working out.

You have to spend many hours alone in solitude. Solitude can be your best friend and your worst enemy. It’ll take you places you might not come back from mentally.

To be in this game you have to be wired mentally a certain way. You can’t just be any regular motherfucker or YES you will probably eventually go crazy. You have to spend many hours alone.Grinding, trying to perfect your craft so you can compete with the best in the world. Even after all of that, there’s still no guarantee that anything will come from all the hardwork. It’s not like being a engineer, where after school you get a degree and can go get a job. In this game you can put in 10,000 hours in and still end up working at burger king…cold game huh?

The worst insult you can say to a artist is “you’re lucky” because if you see somebody making money from art, trust me its anything but luck. That poor soul probably been through so much shit they’re basically one tragic event from losing their sanity. Making it far in the creative game is close to traumatizing, but we choose this life so I’m not whining. That’s why many of your favorite artist are drugged out or have mental break downs. The stress, the pressure, the deceitful people you encounter plus having to still compete at your craft on a high level eventually eats away at your soul to the point you start to lose pieces of your humanity. Pieces you can’t get back.

Being a creative is like being an alien. The avg person will never understand you. Which is going to cause resentment, because you’ll never be able to form normal friendships or relationships. So you begin to hate humanity with a great level of disgust. Nothing is worse than regular people asking you regular people questions like “OW WOW HOW ID YOU DO THAT?” I don’t know mothfucker, I was born with a gift.

Forming relationships is very difficult. It takes a special person to know how to love a creative person. Our personalities aren’t normal at all and we don’t pretend to fit in either. It’s the rebel inside of us. Either u come to our world or we leave you alone. No compromise. Our lifestyle is totally abnormal also. The mood swings, the ups and downs will make it hard for a regular person to stick with a artist. The lack of companionship adds to the depression a artist may feel. This game is for made for lonely souls.

When u have talent, random motherfuckers want to be friend you. That’s another thing. But they don’t understand, we have irregular brains, so normal shit don’t turn us on. So having a friendship with a non creative will be hard. Were not better people, just different. Our gift is our curse, and it leaves us very isolated in our own dark world.

Having talent is a gift and a curse. You’re trapped in your own unique world that nobody can relate too while at the same time forced to live in the “real world” You’re forever alone. You’re a prisoner that belong to the public. You’ll never have a “normal” healthy life. If you want to do this and do this forreal, at some point you have to realize that your life needs to become 100% about your work. You have to become married to your craft and get prepared to create until the day that you die. But there’s no rainbows or light at the end of the tunnel. You create for the people and you die when its your time. That’s what this thing is. If you don’t like it get a 9 to 5, this game isn’t for the weak

My Favortie Track: J Electronica – Dear Moleskine

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J Electronica – Dear Moleskine is my favorite Hip Hop track ever recorded. IMO J elect is already one of the GOAT’S. Jay is beyond a rapper. He’s an artist, a real artist. This track almost tell my life story completely. I can really relate to this… Its almost like J elect read my mind and took the pain that I felt inside and put it on a track.

I first heard this track a little under a year ago (probably around Dec 2015, I can’t remember like that) and was blown away. For some reason I’ve been avoiding J elect for a long time. After he made that line on Exhibit C “When New York niggas were callin’ Southern rappers lame but then jackin’ our slang”.

I liked that track BTW, but that line at the time made me write him off. Over time I just never thought about him much after . But last year, I can’t even remember how or why but I ran into Dear Moleskine. I was blown away. Ever since, I’ve been a huge J Elect fan.

He’s  reclusive. A real life “where is waldo”. Dude could be anywhere right now, in any random location on earth. I can totally relate. That’ll be my life someday lol. Anyway, me and many others await his debut album.

On the track he talks about being depressed and trapped in his bleak surroundings of New Orleans. He’s looking for a way out. He wants to escape the daily routine and follow his dreams. Go somewhere new, where he can become mentally simulated and escape the pitfalls around him. His environment is dire. It doesn’t offer many opportunities for a young black man. He’s disenfranchised and even worse, he’s intelligent enough to be aware of his plight while at the same time being helpless to fix it. Which is like being buried alive or having sleep paralysis.

Coming from a place like Buffalo NY. I can feel Jay’s pain. Buffalo is a place filled with poverty and racism . It’s a city that like to pretend that these major social and economic issues doesn’t exist but a guy like me have big dreams and refuse to go under. The feeling of being trapped surrounded by noting but landmines I understand well. In this city dreams die.

The loneliness stems from walking to the beat of your own drum. Not being a follower and never compromising your morals for anybody or anything. We live in a society that punish people who refuse to follow the status quo. If you don’t fit into a box, you’ll have difficultly finding a place to exist.

“Bill Murray trapped in Punxsutawney” is a reference to the movie Groundhogs day. During the movie Bill life repeats over and over. It’s a good movie BTW, check it out. The movie itself drops valuable gems about life.

“Dr. Phil told me that I can sell crack or hit the army, Look at where we live at Tell me you don’t hear that Tell me you don’t feel that Show me to the way out Tell me when pastor Raphael gon’ reveal that”

This excerpt shows the lack options that many young black men face in America capitalistic economy. Sell drugs or enter the army. With no job opportunities or economic infrastructure many young black men have no choice to go the illegal route out of desperation. That combined with police interactions, racism, jail and death puts us in a tough space.

Pastor Raphael represent many lying preachers. Most of them are pimps that take advantage of docile naive people looking for hope. I can’t judge them too harshly tho, because life is hard and we all need hope. Hope is the fuel that keeps us going daily. The preacher provides hope like its a cheap drug. Anyway, With this line he’s exposing his pastor. When Jay confronts him with a real question. The pastor can’t give him a real answer. The pastor can’t show him the way out, because the pastor don’t know the way out  himself. Hes just an actor playing a role to make a living himself.

Alright this is all I got, I’m feeling to lazy to breakdown the rest of the song. Break it down for yourself anyway. It’ll be more beneficial to you that way….peace

The beat was created by the great Just Blaze and the sample appears at 3:07 and 3:58. source:  whosampled.com/…/Jay-Electronica-Dear-Moleskine-Bayeté-Free-Angela-(Thoughts…-And-All-I’ve-Got-to-Say)

Here’s the lyric’s:

Have you ever ever ever been depressed so bad
It was a struggle every day not to regret your past
Feeling cursed like you never ever get your swag
And you be speeding down the highway when your threshold pass
When you cried all your tears out
And one page of your diary can tell you what your year bout
That’s a lonely place
My mama said son why such a lonely face
Because the pressures (depression) on me
Plus I feel like bill murray trapped in Punxsutawney
Dr phil told me that I can sell crack or hit the army
Look at where we live at
Tell me you don’t hear that
Tell me you don’t feel that
Show me to the way out
Tell me when pastor raphael gon’ reveal that
If not man I’m outta here
I’m just a sleep walking robot that’s outta gear
I stick my nose out the water to the sky for air
Lama sabachthani (translates to ‘why have you forsaken me’)
Trying to see light but the devil trying to blind me
The grim reaper walking with a shovel right behind me
Trying to introduce me to the untimely unkindly
Walk the line finely like johnny cash
But I keep getting visits from the ghost of the past
So I spark another l then I go to the pad.